When speaking of routines some people think of schedules, but I don’t believe they are the same nor do they have the same benefits. Routines are good for everyone; they are good for infants, children, teens, parents, and caregivers. In their simplest form, they provide a foundation for your day, your week, your month, or your year. However, they are not rigid or fixed, but are flexible and adjust as needed.
Routines provide a framework for our lives. Currently, sleep is a hot topic because often we aren’t getting enough of it. You can find articles, books, and interviews about the benefits of developing a sleep routine. There’s a process of preparing for sleep, the sleep environment to be considered, and carving out time for sleep. Daily routines are much like this. We need to have a flow of the day that we can count on. Children, starting in infancy, need to have routines that are established for them but with their needs in mind.
We need to set the tone for how the day flows within the family. If you are a parent or a caregiver you set that tone based on several factors. Newborn routines are built around sleep, feedings, and interactions with adults which include diaper changes, but little else. Their rhythm of life often becomes the routine the family and caregivers operate from. Soon, however, that rhythm changes to include more awake time, adding time for play, and adjustments in sleeping. Adults can begin to have more influence over the routine to also accommodate their needs and the needs of the family as a whole.
As children grow and develop their needs shift and routines move with them. Sometimes these shifts and changes are small, other times they are more significant, but each time the routine flexes and moves. Schedules, on the other hand, have a rigid or firm structure to them leaving little room for adjustment. Scheduling comes into the family’s routine with things like the timing of medications, appointments, or school. However, the scheduled items sit within the flexible structure of the family routine rather than dominate it.
Sometimes families opt for a very structured and scheduled lifestyle. This may mean leaving little room for flexibility, adjustment, or downtime. While they may feel comforted by having such a solid structure, living this lifestyle can increase stress in all family members and can feel constrictive. Some personalities prefer more structure and thrive in that environment and other personalities do not. Most families are composed of several personality types and each needs to be considered.
Routines allow for some firm structure while also allowing for spontaneity and flexibility. You know if you are having a bad day or feeling frustrated, shifting your routine can make a huge difference to your outlook and mood. Consider that in a family setting each member needs the opportunity for flexibility – a routine allows for that.
So what makes routines work? Think of a bubble. It has a structure but can also shift and move around to accommodate its surroundings and environment. Routines are much like this. They provide enough structure to allow everyone to know what to expect, but also there is room to make changes, allow for spontaneity, or shift things to meet needs that arise. There are bedtimes, mealtimes, playtimes, rest times, and activity/work times all placed inside the routine along with allowances to vary the day, week, month, or year as needed. As children mature and grow, their needs change so the routines change. Parents may experience changes in their work or personal lives that require routines to shift. By having enough structure everyone feels secure and by having enough flexibility stressors are reduced. Routines are good for everyone – parents, children, and caregivers as well.