The joys of becoming parents are real. They are often difficult to describe or expect but they are true nonetheless. Yes, there are challenges and difficulties to navigate, but the rewards far outweigh them. One thing is certain there are changes that you go through as a new parent. Here are a few.
Brain Preparation
Your brain actually helps you prepare for this new role. Researchers have found that new parents – both moms and dads – have increased activity in the “emotional-processing network.” This allows parents to be highly focused on the safety of their newborn, supports parent-newborn bond, and feelings of enjoyment related to the care of their baby. Additionally, there is more activity in the “mentalizing network” which ground focuses on the present moment with their little one. This increase in being in tune with their newborn opens them up to “know” what their baby needs with the subtlest indication. Your brain is helping you hyper-focus and tune into your baby.
Multi-Tasking
All these increased brain functions allow most parents to multi-task well in caring for their newborn. The baby’s care and well-being are the focus of the brain’s increased activity. This is true for fathers who participate in their child’s care, same-sex parents, adoptive parents, or other adults directly connected to the card of the newborn.
Decreased Memory
I’m sure you’ve heard moms talk about “pregnancy brain” or “mom-brain.” They are not entirely wrong. Researchers have found that while stress for expecting and new moms seems to diminish, the memory pays the price. 80% of new moms reported issues with recall or executive functions – finding the right words or recalling a recent conversation. Add to that the fact that sleep is at a premium it’s not a surprising truth. Minimal sleep also causes Dad to have issues with memory as well.
More Meaningful Life
Parents report that the arrival of a baby stimulated self-reflection. They found greater significance in everyday events and interactions that have deepened their lives. While the media reports that becoming a parent is linked to a decline in happiness, parents report that there are even more meaningful connections with caring for their child and growing a relationship with them. The joys of parenting are real.
Connection and Support
Parenting isn’t always sunshine. There are plenty of challenges for parents to deal with. Some of these can bring pressure to relationships – your partner, your family, and your friends. Often these relationships take a back seat to the energy and focus needed to care for your newborn. Taking time to care for yourself, reconnect with your partner, and reconnect with friends and family will help you get through this period. This connection helps to refresh and energize parents. While many new parents may want those first days and weeks to be insulated in just their own new family, they should also be looking to those they are connected with for support. These are individuals you have a relationship with who provide you with support and care. They may help with caring for the baby or handle routine errands or make a nutritious meal. Parents who opened the cocooned world with their new baby to a few chosen individuals to help care for and support them found this time to be more enjoyable and less stressful.
Becoming a parent is full of emotion – joys and sadness, frustrations, and pleasures – all have their role. Remember there are many who can help you.