Can you spoil a baby? If you are a parent of a newborn rest assured that you cannot spoil your baby.
Contrary to popular myth, it’s impossible for parents to hold or respond to a baby too much, child development experts say. Infants need constant attention to give them the foundation to grow emotionally, physically, and intellectually. The newborn needs to get to know the world, to know that they can trust their basic needs will be met, to know that there are those who will be reliable. That is the job of the parents and caregivers of infants. Responding to a baby’s cues is not spoiling, it is demonstrating that they can rely on and trust you.
Crying
Your baby isn’t crying to manipulate you, she’s crying because she is hungry or tired or lonely or uncomfortable. It is her only way of letting you know. So expect there will be crying and expect that you will need to respond to that crying to be sure that needs are met and your baby is soothed.
After you have checked to be sure that he isn’t hungry or needs a new diaper or tired or feels ill, you may want to try some calming strategies.
- Rock him in a rocking chair or hold him and sway from side to side
- Gently stroke her head or pat her back or chest
- Swaddle him
- Sing or talk to her in a soothing voice
- Place in a dark quiet room
- Walk him in your arms or a stroller
- Use a white noise sound machine
- Burp her to relieve any trapped gas bubbles
- Give him a warm bath (not all babies like this)
- Place her in a vibrating bouncy seat if you have one
Babies are learning a sense of security, comfort, nurturing, and warmth from parents and caregivers who respond to their baby’s cries. This will give them the confidence to explore and learn as they grow and develop. In fact, studies show that babies who develop that sense of security from their caregivers in the first year will be more independent, self-confident, and happier later.
Equally true is that you will not cause your baby irreparable harm if you let them cry on occasion. Experts suggest that once your child passes the 9-month mark and begins the art of persuasion (they are now becoming aware of cause and effect), parents can be more selective in responding to cries. The key is to be aware of an emotional outburst. After all, how long does it take a child to learn that the way to get what they want is to throw a tantrum? They learn really fast. Babies aren’t throwing tantrums, they are trying to communicate. Once they cross that border into older babyhood and toddlerhood then they see that their actions can get certain responses from parents and caregivers.
Holding
Holding or wearing your baby allows them to feel your body warms, connects them to your heartbeat, reduces crying, and improves growth rate. This close proximity encourages more interaction and bonding between parent and child. View it as the very best way to get to know each other well. Holding or babywearing is particularly beneficial to fathers in developing closer relationships with their infants.
When holding or wearing your infant, talk to them. Tell them what you are doing. Actually, talk about whatever comes to your mind. You are laying the groundwork for language development. This is true of singing as well or reading aloud – your baby will benefit and they will not criticize your skills.
Babies still need tummy time and time to lie down. This gives you a break and gives them time to explore their world from a new viewpoint. When babies build confidence in your availability it allows them to be more comfortable when they are having tummy time or time on their blanket.
The bottom line is that babies benefit from all of the love and nurturing their parents and caregivers can muster.